Yup we're going there... this weeks topic is HOW IMPORTANT IS SEX IN A RELATIONSHIP??? Is it essential to the well being of a relationship? Can it be confused with love? Can a relationship work if it's more important to one partner than the other? These are some things that we considered this week when writing down our thoughts. Let us know what you think!
Don't forget to check us out on Blogtalkradio.com live on Thursday, April 11, 2013 @ 9:30pm, where your Chatting Drunk hosts will share their different takes on this question. Hope you tune in, comment, or give us a call! Cheers!
Leilani
So after seeing different versions of this question posted all over Facebook, and talked about in random discussions, we decided to talk about the importance or lack of importance that sex has in a relationship. I am assuming that we are all adults and can have a grown up conversation in regards to sex, but we'll see how that turns out on our live show. Lol!
In my opinion there are a lot of other parts of a relationship that are waaaaaay more important than sex. For instance I would put more effort into respecting one another, trust in a relationship, enjoying spending quality time, laughter, rather than focusing on sex sex sex! This doesn't mean that sex isn't fun, don't get me wrong, sex can be great when you are in a relationship, OR just fun on a whim if that's what you like! However, I must not think like a man, because sex is not a constant thought in my mind. My bad for wanting to catch a few more minutes of sleep, or do a load of laundry. Lol!
Let me stop for a minute and clarify, yes I know, I sound like a prude. But I just think that sex is a part of a relationship to be enjoyed, but not so important that people need to ruin a relationship over lack of sex. Just think, especially the men, when you're 70, do you really think that your "Mighty Penis" is going to be working like when it did when you were 20? Exactly! So have fun with sex while you can, enjoy the moments, but in my opinion place more emphasis on the long lasting elements of a relationship.
Luis
How important is sex in a relationship? I believe that for men sex is essential to be able to sustain an adult relationship with his woman. Unless there was some sort of agreement beforehand for religious beliefs or other motives similar to this. Sex must be done 3 to 10 times a week to keep us satisfied. It is a part of our well being. Just like food, water, and exercise, sex is just as important. If we do not get it, we will go out and find it. This does not mean that a woman that is not looking for a sexual relationship should be forced or threatened in any way, shape, or form, just to keep a man. I speak for what i would need, and am honest to myself knowing that I would not survive without it.
Michele
I think sex, trust and communication are equally important in a relationship. They all go hand in hand in having a healthy relationship. Sex is intimate and I'm not the type of person that can have sex "like a man", although I did once which had the exact opposite effect on Mr. New York, who moved across the country and thought it would happen again. That experience was so awful it sent me back into the arms of my ex, Mr. Law enforcement. While I was dating Mr. Minnesota, he said "I don't hook up just to hook up! I have to have a connection with that person, if there is no chemistry the sex won't be good." I totally agree with that and maybe that's why my experience with Mr. New York was so bad, I only had feelings for him on a friend level and just got drunk enough to cross that line...once!
As a woman I rely on my intuition a lot and in order for me to rely on that I need to feel a connection with that person. So communication is key, Mr. Law enforcement and I were long distance our whole relationship and the first year and a half we were on different continents so communication is all we had. If we didn't have communication and the desire to make it work it wouldn't have lasted. Sex isn't everything in a relationship but it is important to keep the connection strong.
Although I think sex is just as important as trust and communication I think you need to communicate and build trust first before you bring sex into the relationship. It is said that sex changes everything and I agree with that. If a man wants to leave he will leave, sex isn't going to keep him around. If you make him wait 3, or 5 dates or even 3 months eventually he will leave. If he was only in it for the sex he probably wouldn't have stuck around the 3 months.
I agree with all three of you on different aspects; Michele- i totally agree that sex is as important as others keyy components that make a relationship, Luis -I agree a man has needs and no one should be forced top stay because of sex, Leilani-i agree sometimes a little extra sleep or other responsibilities do have a priority at time s. I will say though that a woman has needs as well and sex should def be discussed very soon in a relationship. When do you guys think it should be discussed, as the occasion arises or before in a casual conversation?
ReplyDeleteThanks Cristina H for listening to our show! I hope we touched on your question! I agree sex should be discussed early on in a relationship, Leilani and I discussed this a few weeks ago and I have decided that since becoming catholic I would like to TRY and wait until marriage to have sex again. She brought up a good point that what if the man I choose to marry ends up being horrible in the bed room so now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place what is the right thing to do? I've decided I'm going to go with the same philosophy I had when I was a virgin and dating Mr. Law Enforcement, I'm just going to wait until it feels right. If it feels right to wait I will wait if it feels right to have sex then I'll do that. But I will discuss my belifs with my partner...It can be a difficult conversation to have early on in a relationship but I think if you wait to long that could be awkward as well. In the moment while things were getting steamy between Mr. Law Enforcement he said he didn't have a condom and I took that time to blurt out good cuz we need to discuss something first and let him know I was a virgin. I didn't know how to bring that up I didn't want to seem like a tease while he was over seas and once he was home for good we had already been together for a year and a half. Anyway thanks for listening and keep the questions coming!
ReplyDeleteMichele
I posted below yet I wanted to reply to your existential dilemma. sorry.
DeleteI like your show..
do a show on CHEATING.
The Anonymous One
Thanks for your response! I know Leilani already responded but I wanted to throw in my two cents! I think the "smell your partner" comment was meant for me in regards to me wanting to wait until I get married statement. Which is an interesting thought and I will take that into consideration. I do agree that pheromones play a role in attraction. Cheers! Michele
DeleteCheating, do a show on cheating.
ReplyDeletePostScriptum. The Virgin Mary had sex before getting married.
Now, are the ones that supposedly impose a law of chastity before marriage...are they above the law? Aren't they suppose to lead by example? just have sex when it feels right. Smell your partner if he turns you on...you'll be fine.
The Anonymous One
Thanks for posting The Anonymous One! We are so happy to see that people are tuning in and have wonderful ideas about show topics. We have been considering dedicating every fourth week to Listener Requests, so Congratulations! Your topic will be discussed on next weeks show. We will talk about cheating at your request, and your show will be THE FIRST EVER IN LISTENER'S CHOICE!!! I don't know if we plan on taking a religious approach on the subject, but you never know with the three of us. Lol! Don't forget you can definitely call in LIVE during the show if you want to bring up this question in case we don't mention it within our limited amount of time. Listen out for caller requests during the show and expect to hear a shout out to you for the idea for that weeks topic! CHEERS!
DeleteLeilani
ps. What the heck does Smell your partner mean or refer to? Sounds interesting. I would love to hear :)
Wow...
Deletethanx for considering :D
Answer to postscriptum: as with regards to smelling...its neurobiology my friend...at the end one is an organic being. just see it like this: pheromones... you would love to wake up with that person that smells good for the rest of your life. as they say... Chemistry. Don't ever forget that you are an organic being; i.e., a biological being...which has nothing to do with religion.
Tasting the person by kissing... I knew a couple that were boyfriend/girlfriend for 3 years...saving themselves for marriage...weeding day came and with it honey moon. what happened? the had sex...the next day, the guy left her. sucks huh? chemistry my friend.
SHOW TOPIC...great. Cheating is bad because of the existence of religious ideology. yet, Biologically speaking...its nature. A great teacher of mine said to me: "a dick or pussy does not have morality.." Ethically, hiding a secrete from another, maybe that could be wrong. yet, the questions is: why be with another person...needs? something not being received at home? etc... GO CRAZY GUYS...
THE ANONYMOUS ONE.
Hello Anonymous One... Thank you for responding to my question. I have heard about the biology of sexual attraction in regards to pheromones, and I believe it. My ex use to smell soooooo amazing to me! And it was so funny because other people were like "I don't smell that!" LOL! I would hope not right? But sometimes I can still smell him. It's really weird.
ReplyDeleteI think that absolutely sucks about the couple that got married. But wouldn't they have smelled one another prior to engaging in sex. When they hugged or kissed? I just think perhaps that had to do more with bad sex than good sex right?
Yes cheating is the topic. We are excited and anxious about this topic, but it should be fun! I love what your teacher said. Correct... genitals do in fact not carry any emotions, that I know of. LOL! We have definitely taken your questions into consideration for that topic, and we're going to try to cover it all.
Hopefully we can get you to call in live, or chat with us via facebook at www.facebook.com/chatting.chatting.9. We look forward to hearing from you again.
Thanks for tuning in. In my opinion you are soooo entertaining! CHEERS!
-Leilani
Thanx Leilani....
DeleteIts called 'imprinting'...that smell that is still there. When one makes 'chemistry' with another being...your whole biology changes.
For instance, if a partner mixes with another being...he/she brakes that chemical bond with the so-called significant one. in other words "she/he f's up". Let us even say that the spouse never did know about the spouse's lover; nonetheless... because of the mixing of another person's chems ...the bond is broken. In other words, the cheater breaks the bond; the spouse feels unattractiveness...chemically. And we are just talking about a chemical bond...with it...follows the emotional one...the bioenergenic one...meaning, the chakras connection to another one.
THIS breaking of the bond...makes it easier for the victim of the cheat to leave or connect with another... it is unfixable. sorry but true. "Love" fixes all? well, love fakted all too? ahahaha
When the time comes that a lover so chemically attracted to you comes...he will transform your chemistry and you his....
PS. emotions does not mean morality. morality is in the intellect, meaning, in the head. now, the genitals only feel pleasure or pain. so, pleasure is highly connected with emotions...so genitals do have in a sense and emotion...but no intellect...meaning: moral. that's why animal don't have any stupid issues like us humans hahahaa.. The Anonymous One.
Hey Anonymous One! I think that it is so amazing that the biology of smell is called IMPRINTING. It's going to sound juvenile, but I am a Team Jacob Twilight fan. So this is awesome! LOL! I think what you wrote about the biological connection is amazing, and has definitely given me insight into why I still smell the ex. :p Thanks for clarifying emotions and morality. I think these are two very important aspects in cheating, and in relationships. I would hope as humans that we don't act like animals. But hey, sometimes things happen. LOL@ genitals! I love how we both freely talk about genitals. Makes for interesting conversation. :)
DeletePS... It was me Leilani again! LOL! Cheers!
Delete